Authored by Sarah Anderson via PJMedia.com,

You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried...

The 2026 World Cup has been the talk of the sports - and political - world lately. The United States, Mexico, and Canada will host it, and last week, the presidents of all three countries attended and participated in the draw to determine which teams would play in which groups. 

In the United States, Seattle is one of the host cities, and one of the matches in that city will take place on June 26.

Before the draw, local organizers there determined that the theme for that particular night would be LGBT-etc "Pride Night" to coincide with June being "Pride Month." Why? Because Seattle's going to Seattle and insert propaganda into sports, no matter how much it alienates people.   

So now that everything's finalized and settled, we know who will be paying in that particular match: Egypt and Iran. No, I'm serious.  

In case you're unfamiliar, Iran follows strict Sharia law, which means that being gay is off the table. You're a guy who has sex with another guy or a girl who has sex with another girl, and you ended up flogged, in jail, or more likely, facing the death penalty.

And they aren't afraid to enforce it. 

In 2013, 17 people were arrested and some beaten for attending a "gay birthday party." In 2022, a 16-year-old "queer activist" was disappeared and murdered by Iranian security officials. A 2014 report found an uptick in officials raiding what they believed to be "gay parties" and forcing those who were arrested to name names of other alphabet mafia folks. In 2020, a gay man was reportedly executed via public hanging. In 2021, two gay men were executed for sodomy. You get the idea.  

Egypt is a bit more liberal in this area, I guess. Its laws as of 2024 do not outright ban homosexuality, but it does use other "criminal" acts like "indecency" and "debauchery" to punish people who participate in intimate same-sex acts with up to three years in prison and a fine. Law enforcement often uses dating apps to hunt people down.

In 2022, school children were taught anti-LGBT awareness to prevent deviant behavior, and the government has demanded that Netflix remove "offensive" homosexual content from its platform. 

Notably, the Pride branding is not a FIFA initiative.

Host cities are permitted to build their own fan experiences around match days, and Seattle’s committee chose to highlight LGBTQ+ inclusion through art installations, community partnerships, and Pride-related programming across the city.

The match will take place on a Friday night during what is not only "Pride Month" across our beautiful, mixed-up country - you know, the month that every store you've ever shopped at suddenly adds a rainbow flag and sparkles to their logos in their emails - but also Seattle's own personal extra gay "Pride Weekend."

The city has even invited Washington-based LGBT-etc artists to submit their work for display around the stadium. 

A spokesperson for the Seattle Pride Match Advisory Committee says the match will still go as planned. "Soccer has a unique power to unite people across borders, cultures, and beliefs. We are honored to host a Pride Match and to celebrate Pride as part of a global football community," they said, adding, "This match reflects our ongoing commitment to respect, dignity, and unity for all." 

Translation: "Ignore the public executions in Tehran. We're going to distract you with our colorful murals." 

Oh well, we'll see what happens in June when 69,000 Seattle progressives take to Lumen Field to wave their rainbow flags and shout their pronouns at men from countries who will literally kill you for sex outside of a heterosexual marriage.