This is an article with a title written in the form of a question but ending with an exclamation point because the obvious answer is of course No, it fucking can’t. Your GrimDark cannot beat the Germans!
First of all the Germans are unbeatable on this front because their national park is called the Black Forest and their children’s literature is all about little kids and old ladies being cut into pieces or eaten by wild beasts first collected by guys with the surname Grimm! How much more obvious could it be — GrimDark cannot beat the Black Grimm! Black Grimm is not Benjamin Grimm, it is the fucking Germans.
Second of all GrimDark was made by this guy
Alan Moore, a.k.a
Stoned Rasputin
Alan Moore can’t beat the Germans because Alan Moore’s main shtick has been writing stories in which things are awful because the Germans win (or won), and also because the only drugs anyone has access to in Moore’s world is the brown acid.
GrimDark was created by Alan Moore and perfected by George R.R. Martin, two men who don’t know how to use a razor but think they can beat the Germans.
George R.R Martin a.k.a
Sadist Claus
George R.R. Martin’s entry into this contest, The Game of Thrones, is a world where the middle ages in Britain lasted for 10,000 years and oh yeah, also there are zombies. Martin’s focus is the doings of the royals in his surrogate Britain, who in the real world were all a bunch of Germans from the House of Wettin which is a great name for conjuring up images of fat-lipped sociopaths in uncomfortable clothing and drafty castles pouting over the technical issues involved in killing people.
Both of these idiots need to realize you can’t beat the Germans by imagining you were German! The Germans have been at this game for all their lives, which they wish would be over soon so that they may embrace sweet nothingness.
But now the Germans have had enough, enough of these hacks trying to beat the Germans at their own game! And so, because Germany isn’t exactly known for subtlety, their latest entry to prove they still have the goods is called simply DARK. A show created with a simple ambition — that nobody else ever thinks they can be darker than the Germans ever again!
To prove this the Germans constructed a show set in a world much like ours in a small rural German community in which many people are related to each other, even if they aren’t aware of it (like most small rural communities the world over), and where people have a hard time keeping their marital vows. And because it isn’t enough that people run around and have sex with people in the local area, the have also added in time travel to the mix so that people can go back into the past and have sex with people there.
I know you’re wondering how can this possibly beat worlds in which everyone is horribly killed and tortured every day forever, but you forget that on Dark everyone is having sex with everyone else while being GERMAN, and that beats infinity murder!
But seeing is believing, so here are some Germans and Not Germans being miserable — let’s see who wins!