An Evening Out Colette Berends
(I wrote a draft of post in early 2025. I picked it up and decided to publish it today, hence why it is more about ‘me’ than the current horrific news of the day)
Why do I, a fairly liberal Canadian, continue to live in California instead of moving home, given America’s rightward lurch?
The answer is that I’ve built a family and community here, which makes me reluctant to leave. Will that reluctance last forever? Obviously not, there’s always a red line.
The shooting of a protester yesterday in Minneapolis feels very close crossing the red line for me. Will there be due process? Could additional information potentially come to light that would convince me that this is not a fascist execution of a civilian in the street? Both seem unlikely. The split screen hypocrisy of Trump claiming to support Iranian protesters, while simultaneously having his troops at home kill protesters who he calls ‘domestic terrorists’ is mindblowing.
Could I help effect change? I can’t vote (not a US citizen) and at this point I don’t feel very comfortable joining demonstrations (like I did after George Floyd’s murder) not due to violence but it feels…incongruous to be an non-citizen protesting against policies that the majority of voting citizens in this country specifically voted for as recently as 1 year ago. I could theoretically donate money to candidates (as a green card holder) but that does not seem very effective given the immediate circumstance. The only tool I seem to have is voting with my feet and tax dollars.
I’ve lived here (in the same neighbourhood) for 15 years now. This feels like home. My family and I are not in danger…yet. Do we wait until it’s in our state? Or city? Moving away also feels incredibly privileged. Others are still fighting to move to the US to avoid even worse situations in their home country.
If you stand for nothing, what will you fall for?
I want to be clear about what I believe in. Here’s a short list:
- people should be free to move and pursue opportunity anywhere they’d like
- people should be judged by the quality of their character, not their innate or unchangeable characteristics.
- technology on average is a good thing, but it can amplify the worst of human tendencies
- after receiving information that shows how our opinions or beliefs are incorrect, we should update our beliefs
- free speech is a great thing, but I am not an absolutist
- I don’t love the idea of people being able to make split second decisions/mistakes that could end someone else’s life (eg guns, texting while driving, nuclear weapons)
and probably many more things, but this is a good start.
In the past, I haven’t done a great job of supporting specific causes (either publicly or financially) but it is something I should do better. I am not claiming to be an expert, or that I’ve read all the literature. Strong opinions, weakly held! My ears are always open.
I would like to voice my support for the trans community. It’s an issue that’s dear to me, my friends and my family. My great aunt Colette (born 1934) transitioned and lived a spectacularly beautiful life (documented in a movie too!). I don’t have a strong opinion about the sports issue (I don’t play sports, nor am I a woman or trans) but I hate that it is being used as a gateway wedge issue to dehumanise trans people. These are people! Human people. The Overton window is shifting and I am scared that more people will start treating trans people with hatred or violence.
The other group that I want to stand up for are immigrants. I am an immigrant. I am incredibly lucky to have been Canadian during an era which (up until recently) allowed for easy economic migration to the US (at least for engineers under the TN visa program). Coming down to California and taking part in YC was an incredibly formative part of my life. I think I gave back pretty good to the US as well! Pebble and Beeper would probably not exist had I not migrated down here. I wouldn’t have met my wife. Same deal as trans community - I hate that immigrants are being dehumanized and blamed for all of societies ills. How do ICE officers know who to stop and interrogate, anyways? If you prick us, do we not bleed? Why does that even matter…we’re all just people. The parallels to the 1930s are scary.
There’s no magic solution or proposal at the end of this blog post. Sorry (🇨🇦). I have donated over the weekend to nipnlg.org and ilrc.org and I’ll continue to support others fighting for these causes.
Maybe I am too much of a hopeless optimist, but it doesn’t hurt to have kindness for other people.