I spent a great chunk of last week at SmashingConf Freiburg and it was lovely as usual. It was great to meet some people I've only ever seen online and see old friends. And I am not going to lie - it was pretty flattering to have people come over to me and challenge me to admit I was the mystery speaker (SmashingConf always has a mystery speaker they only announce on the day). I wasn't, as you all know now, but thank you for thinking I am of that calibre!
Anyway, at the after-party I was chatting to a fun group of people and one of them mentioned how someone else in the group really wanted to ask something to one of the speakers from this year but they were feeling shy and intimidated. I immediately encouraged the situation to happen (and it did)! It helps that I am a little bit shameless after a couple of drinks but facilitating speaker and attendee conversations is something I've been trying really hard to make happen whenever I can. So I brought the speaker in question and a few people to join our group pac-man style and people got to chatting.
This reminded me of when I MCed CSS Day earlier in June. I tried really hard to encourage people to come and chat with the speakers throughout the event. At the speakers' dinner, I asked every single person I was going to present on stage if it was okay if I did so. Of course they said yes - they are all a wonderful bunch of folks.
But this also comes from my experience as a speaker. I arrived at what people call the "speaker circuit" quite recently and I never experienced the wave of feedback that I know speakers used to experience on Twitter before Twitter was ruined. I know it is super intimidating to approach someone who has just been on a stage as you may think you have nothing to add to the conversation. I've been on that side and I still am on that side too. Trust me - even as a speaker or MC I am in awe of many people I met this year and I was so afraid of approaching them and chatting to them only for them to realise I am... just a very simple woman.
I've had events I spoke at that I didn't have a single piece of feedback online which made me wonder how flat it landed. It isn't necessarily an ego thing - but sometimes you wonder if you did okay, if people hated it, etc. I'm only human, gang. But I know I am not the only speaker who has been a bit rattled by silence. I've had a few conversations with other speakers about what to do when there isn't a lot of feedback on a talk. It was good to chat this through as I thought it was a me problem but turns out, after all, no thought is original.
And I need to be better at this myself. Most times, I forget to compliment my own friends who are speaking because, bizarrely, I assume they can read my mind and know that I love their work and I am on the first row cheering them on. I need to live-post more and I need to blog more because I really want people to see the amazing conferences I attend, with fantastic organisers and incredible speakers.
These days, especially if I have an active role in an event, I feel a little bit shy and probably stick around close to people I know more than I should. After I speak on a stage, my brain is rambling on about all the things I know I said incorrectly and all the details I know weren't perfect.
So, if you always wanted to but think it isn't worth telling a speaker you liked their talk, this is your encouragement post to do so. It is always worth it even if it is a small tap and small chat. People put a lot of work into it and they want people to enjoy it and, at least for me, I kinda do want to know if we did alright.