Not only the best but also the most durable: I bought mine in 2016 (above) and ten years later it still works as flawlessly as the day it arrived.

Back then it only came with a blue anti-scatter top but since then they've added grey and pink options.

Heavy metal that stabilizes your pill between precisely aligned hard sharp blades.

Bonus: safe because the cutting surfaces are shielded from your fingers.

$29.95.

Don't fall for those cheapo guillotine-style plastic numbers at CVS: these are the real deal.

If you're not completely satisfied, send me all the pill fragments that remain from your FAIL and I will take them all at once.

That is the bookofjoe way.

Wait a sec — what's that song I'm hearing?