What Are We Talking About?

You've probably seen them. Links like dontasktoask.com, giybf.com, lmgtfy.com, or similar sites, often dropped in response to a question in online communities, especially tech or coding forums.

The intent behind these sites might stem from a desire to encourage better questions, promote self-sufficiency, or manage repetitive queries. However, the act of posting the link itself often comes across very differently.

The Vibe Check: How It Feels to Receive That Link

Let's be honest. Getting one of these links rarely feels like constructive feedback. More often, it feels:

• Dismissive: It shuts down the conversation instead of guiding it.
• Passive-Aggressive: It avoids direct communication in favour of a canned, often snarky, response delivered via URL.
• Shaming: As one person put it:

  "To me it gives off the vibe of 'this question is so stupid and people have asked it so many times someone made a website just for stupid people like you.'"

• Unhelpful: It doesn't offer "higher insight". It's just a statement, not tailored help.
• Lazy (Ironically): While presented as enforcing effort from the asker, posting the link is often the least effort response from the helper, compared to offering genuine, brief guidance.
• Counter-Productive: It can create a hostile or unwelcoming atmosphere ("Stack Overflow syndrome"), discouraging newcomers or those already struggling.

"It's Just Enforcement / Justifying the Rule!"

Some argue these links efficiently enforce community norms about asking questions well. While establishing good practices is valuable, using a passive-aggressive link is arguably one of the least effective ways to teach or enforce them kindly.

• It lacks context: The link doesn't know the specific situation or the asker's background.
• It breeds resentment: People learn better when they feel respected, not dismissed.
• Direct communication is clearer: A simple, polite sentence is often more effective and less ambiguous.

How to Actually Help (Without the Snarky URL)

Instead of reaching for that bookmark, consider these approaches:

1. Direct & Kind Guidance:
   • "Hey, it's usually best to ask your question directly! What's up?"
   • "Could you please share the full problem you're facing? It helps us help you faster."
   • "To give you the best answer, could you tell us what you've already tried?"
2. Explain the 'Why' (Briefly & Politely):
   • "Asking directly helps because multiple people might see it and jump in to help!"
   • "Providing details upfront saves back-and-forth and gets you answers quicker."
3. Gentle Nudge Towards Searching (If Appropriate):
   • "Have you tried searching for [specific error message or term]? Often there are quick solutions online." (Avoid LMGTFY links!)
4. Quote the Rule/Guideline (If Applicable & Necessary):
   • If your community has guidelines, politely refer to the specific helpful section along with a welcoming tone.
5. Just Be Nicer:
   • Remember the goal is usually collaboration and help. As someone mentioned, "this isn't stackoverflow, be nice to people." Put a kinder phrase in your mental (or actual) bookmarks!

Let's Build Better Conversations

Dropping a link to a passive-aggressive webpage might feel like a shortcut to dealing with certain types of questions, but it often damages the tone of the conversation and the community spirit.

Choose direct communication. Choose kindness. Choose to actually help or guide, even if it takes a few extra seconds to type.

In short: Don't post passive-aggressive webpages.